Yes, you've read it right. I've made up an extreme hypothetical interview with the world's leading music magazine. Here it goes!!
RS : So who are you guys?
Danny : We're just a couple of guys that enjoy making music and we love to stroke eachother.
Leon : Correction, that's you.
Danny : Ohw yeah. Right. I love to stroke myself. We're from the Netherlands, varying from The Hague to Waddinxveen. This band was formed with the intention to make in-your-face rock and we were only with three guys for a year. After that Minnes' came...
Minnes : Multiple times...
Danny : Ehm.. So Minnes came, and now here we are.
RS : Rumor has it that you're recording an entire album. Can you tell something about it?
Dennie : We're recording an entire album with the songs we've made over the last year and a half and we have two of the world's most handsome producers. Me and Danny.
Leon : In other words, we're recording it ourselves. The pleasure of recording it yourself is that you can experiment more. Things you wouldn't normally do. For example, we're going to use a didgeridoo and we've recorded Nightly Activities with a wooden block. It's a lot of fun.
Danny : We're recording the songs in two batches of 8 and 6 songs. That way it's more fun for the rest of us and we can start mixing a few songs while recording the others. I wonder if you can hear who mixed what song? Dennie has a very distinct mixing style and so do I.. I sense a contest..
RS : Where did you get the inspiration for this album?
Danny : Everywhere and nowhere.
Minnes : What Danny is trying to say is that we don't think of letting ourselves get inspired. It just happens. We don't know where it comes from. It just does.
Leon : I'm always listening to Pink Floyd in the nude when I get inspired.
Danny : That's all you do in your free time so that's no wonder.
Dennie : My biggest inspiration has got to be myself. I'm always listening to myself when I think of a great riff.
Danny : You just talk an awful lot. So once again, no challenge..
Minnes : Boys will be boys right? Right.
RS : Are you all complete retards?
Leon : I like to think of myself as mentally challenged.
Danny : Yeah, I also like to think of you as mentally challenged.
Dennie : Dude, just quit doing those things. You always think you're so fucking funny. Well. Guess what. Newsflash! YOU'RE NOT!!
Danny : What? You mean I'm not alone? I should go fuck myself, you're fed up? Etcetera, etcetera??
Minnes : He, isn't that a line from a song of ours?
RS : Can't you guys just chill out for a bit? Please try to act a little professional.
Dennie : Who the hell do you think you are for calling us unprofessional, biatch?
Danny : If this is the way we're having fun, why do you try and judge us? Well, you're ugly!
Minnes : I think he's rather cute.
Danny : I meant it as an insult. The guy's obviously as stupid as..
RS : That's it. I've had it with you guys. Fuck off. I'm gone.
Leon : Where the hell do you think you're going?
Minnes : Grab his ass!!!
Leon : Why?? I've already have his arms.
Danny : Never mind about that. Let's punish him..
About an hour later..As published in Rolling Stone :
The new band Hardly Easy from the Netherlands have everything what it takes to be big. Even bigger than the Stones, the Beatles or even the King himself. With their two very charismatic frontmen, they're bound to have lot's of succes with the women as well. Their self-recorded debut album sounds fantastic, who needs professional sound engineers? The songs on the album are all evenly great and all have the potential for a number one position in the charts. This isn't the last I've heard.. I mean we've heard of this band! Mark my words.. No really mark them.
Once again.. This is fictional.. No really??? Pffffft.
